Anti_Gendou's and Lozertuser's wishes aren't sexy. Inb4 fuck the Police. Anyway, let me show you how it's done properly.

1. My penis is the greatest power in all of the multiverse. Immovable object and unstoppable force tremble in fear.
2. The ability to personificate anything (objects/forces/fantasies/concepts/desease/etc) and fuck it into submission. (Anything bends to my will.)
For example:
- Time is just my bitch, so is death/desease;
- Creating objects and sentient life from a fantasy (waifu is real/can have anything I want);
- Creating/negating any force;
- Manipulating reality (includes shapeshifting yourself/others, actually, anything goes);


Wishes 1 and 2 seem to overlap. And they indeed go together. But I felt like compressing them to a single wish would be a bit of a stretch. Wish 3 is irrelevant, because my penis grants unlimited wishes at this point. And that's how you compress the 2 wishes into just one: My penis grants unlimited wishes. But then again, that would be cheating. So lets just stick with 2 wishes.

#1 for missionary to be the only possible sex position
#2 sex will not be possible without a condom and marriage
#3 whenever a woman turns 23 she turns into Hilary Clinton

Sex with women over 23 will not be possible. No man would want to fuck her, not even Bill.
Teenagers must be relied upon to procreate.

- Read carefully, "sex will not be possible without a condom", so you won't be able to procreate either way. Unless we start making low quality condoms that tear easiyl. But then again, there is also the in vitro fertilisation.
- Lol, the divorce rate would be pretty high.
- I can see young girls turning into a commodity. Basically, you'd have no chance to even get one, untill turning 40+ (unless you were born loaded.)
- With so many Hillaries around, one is bound to become president. And she'd most definitely lagalise incest and marriage with minors, in order to be able to get some herself. I'm afraid humanity would turn into a herd of inbred degenerates.

Let's see ...

1: Power to manipulate time so that scenareos of interaction can be replayed until I reach the optimal outcome
2: Photo memory for my studies
3: Live world of monster girls, because, why not

1. have a 12 inch dick with reasonable width proportions
2. Be able to persuade anyone to have sex with me.
3. Be able to cum over a liter of sperm possibly even up to a gallon

Honestly #2 would be most important to me, it would fulfill every sexual fetish I have, nuns, milfs, tomboys... everything. I would have used Hunter0333's #2 but i don't think that would be nearly as fun, a pear tree that you actually work to grow produces sweeter pears after all.

I would also have wanted immunity from all the std's in the world but again that just lines in with #2 if you take the time to get to know someone you'll learn if they have an std or not, and if you get to really know them well enough, you might not even care if they have one.

Hmm....
1-STDs no longer exist.
2- women have the ability to control whether they become pregnant or not by sheer will.
3- men can control how hard, long and thick their dicks get. (Within reason)

I always feel bad for guess who wish they were bigger, but I also know big guys who have trouble getting fully hard or even having sex at all because they cause their partner pain.

1 - To be able to hypnotize anyone into doing anything I want them to. It'll be specially useful in raising a small army of shotas to fulfil my desires and make them forget everything in the end, so I won't face any charges.
2 - To have a lot of money so I don't have to study and work anymore so I can spend all my time having sex.
3 - To understand CSS.

Well, maybe #3 is asking too much but...

1 - Make it against the laws of physics to perform any sex act on another person without their express consent.
2 - Refractory period is no longer a thing. Once you've found a willing partner, you can have as much sex as you want and never get tired of it! Physically *or* mentally.
3 - Perfect, non-invasive paternity tests at any stage in the child's life, including pre-birth. Not sure if this would cause less or more drama, but it'd be fun to see in action!

...okay, so I'm practical with my fantastical, you-can-do-literally-anything wishes. I just don't like controlling others' minds, okay?! >-<

"3 wishes" is other-worldly non-sense when it has no relation to change in your own life. This is my 4 wishes that have more immediacy towards this world:
1. I can tag enough images so that my record is improved here (check my profile)
2. I will be unbanned at rule34.xxx - I would agree to not uploading again if only they would unban me so that I could do everything else.
3. I can tag enough images at e621 so that I can upload again
4. redpill.booru.org will be an empire that will last a thousand years!

Does anyone here by chance know about the idea of Absolute Spirit, for example, in German Idealism? Although I am a materialist it is interesting to learn about other-worldly concepts; for example, some argue that angels and demons have a Pure/Absolute Spirit.