This is probably a weird place for this, but there's too many boring threads, so let's spice it up. I want to do a relationship psychology test on you guys. This is based on circumstances going on with some of my friends. They seem to turn to me as the dating advice guy, but sometimes even I don't know what to say.

This is from a guy's perspective, but girl's input is very welcome too.

GIRL A:
You were briefly in a relationship with her a year ago. Before you even got a chance to know her very well, she felt you weren't interested in her and decided to see some random other person (to the full extent) without telling you. This random other person would eventually repeatedly cheat on her and break her heart. After a year of not speaking, suddenly she contacts you and wants to be friends again.
PRO: Very sweet, excellent cook.
CON: She's broken your trust before, and there isn't a natural connection between you.

GIRL B:
Someone you've known for awhile, but didn't really become good friends with until somewhat recently. You seem to share an intense connection and level of trust with her... but she's actually married with kids. Separated from her husband that she feels no connection with, and only seems to want a physical relationship with you more than anything.
PRO: High level of honesty and openness, personality matches yours well.
CON: Almost no possibility of long term relationship.


So, which would you choose? Or would you choose neither?

I rather avoid getting into that kind of situation in the first place. I especially don't see myself getting tangled up with Girl B - I'd have had a lobotomy first before I mess around with married women, especially married women with kids.

But assuming that despite my best efforts that I did end up having to choose it's a no brainer. I'd choose Girl A, 'cos she can cook.

From a girl's perspective, Girl A would be better than Girl B, but really neither are a good choice.
I only say Girl A because she could have changed, and trust can be regained over time.
Girl B is married. Seperated, yes, but still married. And if all she wants is a physical relationship, there's no guarantee she won't change her mind later and go with someone else. Or, possibly, get back together with her husband.

From a Chinese perspective,neither!

A purely physical relationship with a (most likely) soon to be single mother is pretty high up there on the chart of bad relationship choices. Kids would get in the way of sex and the relationship could teach the children that relationships are supposed to be that way since their mother is no longer with their father that she actually loved at one point and is instead with a fuck buddy.

However, Girl A isn't any better choice. From a logical standpoint, she cheated on you before and it's been a year, while she may have changed in that time she also may have gotten worse and slept around. For all you know, she may have gotten knocked up a week ago or she may have STDs. It's hard for people to change, especially the older they are. That said, I don't forget or forgive so the part about her being pregnant or having STDs could just be ignored.

TL;DR
Girl A: People don't change easily.

Girl B: You might hurt her children's future relationships.

I would absolutely choose girl B. My reasoning is that my chances of a long term relationship with her are not 0 just low. Also if she is open about this not being long term you could probably be keeping an eye out for a more suitable situation. That being said this isn't ideal but if your open about the whole thing I don't imagine it effecting your friendship with girl B as much.

On the side of girl A. She has already broken your trust once and hasn't earned it back yet and you would be entering in a situation that sets her up to do almost the same thing again. That being said i see no harm in being just friends with her though.

^ Bumped after more than 8 years. Is that a record?

Gorlock hasn't been here in over a year so he might not see this.

I would rather choose girl B. Of course, the fact that she is married is a problem, but it's not the fact that it is for a long time. Yes, and the presence of children is not a problem, I myself hate sex and if I do not have to deal with it - this is a big plus, I will not pick up any diseases, and I do not need to worry about how to be better in sex. Girl A does not fit if we take her in comparison with girl B, but if we take her as a separate individual, I would probably agree to be with her if she is nice enough and does not need much in money sense.

This question was posted 8 years ago. If OP's friend hasn't made their decision yet, they're fucked.

It's an interesting topic either way though.

Personally, I think neither is a good choice, I also find myself, with other female friends, and with other women that I observe that it's very rare to find an attraction with someone that you've known for a long time. Usually, if you find them attractive you pursue them or let them know you like them fairly soon, via flirting or other things. If it's not acted on the feelings usually fade with time. Both of these sounds a little like rebound to make her self-esteem recover.

I'm not saying being friends with a girl is bad, or that it won't work, but often being friends first can lead into, well, friend zoned. It takes a rather direct approach to get out of that zone.