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I need to rant. I've had a rough year.
Posted on: 09/01/26 07:27AM
So this goes back about 2 years and 6 month ago. I went to gran canaria with my mam and stepdad. It was the first time I went abroad with my stepdad and for my mother about 22yrs ago. I just went because a 'why not' moment and I needed to get away. We had a good time, no issues etc and it gave us more time to bond especially with my stepdad because I wanted to know what he was like abroad than just at home.
Me and my mam were talking and she asked if I fancied going abroad the following year and I said I dont need to go abroad every year but I wouldnt mind going to Japan the year after (this year) my mam said she knows Iv been wanting to go there for years and she proposed I go in 2026 because it will be my stepdads 60th and she was willing to pay for his flight and hotel and said just the both of us should go. So I was open to the idea and it makes it cheaper for him because I have enough money and he wont have to dish out as much apart from his spending money and insurance etc.
On the occasion we would look into it, like looking at flights and hotels etc, whens best time to go etc. But last year he had problems with his health and in all honesty hes not been the best when it comes to health, he suffers with a lot. Angina, DVT, once suffered 3rd degree burns, a stroke in winter 2020, broke his leg, prostate enlargement and lastly hes been born with a rare genetic blood condition so hes hemophiliac. So hes blood doesnt clot when it should and clot when it shouldnt. He lost a lot of blood during a surgery to the point where they had to abort because of the amount of blood he was losing and they couldnt control it.
So obviously going on a long-haul flight with someone with all those conditions were making me a bit nervous, I actually said to my mam that this isnt such a good idea. He still suffers with a cluster of clots like in his arm or something so....its just messy y'know.
Anyway last Xmas I was with my stepdad and he had to say to me that going on this flight was too risky for his health. I perfectly understood and I said its fine and that it isnt his fault. But he kept pushing doctors to see if he could get an all-clear to go. Then about late Jan he said a few doctors were going to have a meeting about whether if it was safe for him to go. They gave him the green light so long as he followed precautions like blood thinners, flight socks etc. I was quite hesitent but I agreed to it so we managed to book a flight and hotel. About a week after war broke out over there and it affected our flight and delayed it by 3hrs. So in total the flight was going to be about 23hrs and thats not counting waiting around etc. 6hrs 30mins to London, 10hrs at a hotel then flight to Dubai 7hrs, 6hr wait in dubai then a 9hr flight to Japan. So it was going to be LONG but we had no choice but to suck it up.
So between March - June there were little problems with his health but nothing major. July 14th he had to go to hospital again, 17th I then find out hes got bladder cancer, 19th I find out hes got another in the stomach (or as of last week ON the stomach). So add that with hemophilia its MASSIVE. And because there was just no alternative for me, I couldnt really find anyone to go with so close to flight day Oct 10th, to go away for 2 weeks, most of my friends are with a job and kids etc. I didnt want to go by myself, I just dont think I can do it and I dont want to push myself into a situation that could ruin my experience there.
Hes been in hospital since the 14th July and hes still in there to this day as you read this, so nearly 10 weeks already. My mother is going insane and my stepdad is just fed up. About 6 weeks ago he had his first surgery which was the extraction of the cancer in the bladder so hes been internal bleeding for weeks now. Surgery for the stomach is this Oct (apparently). At this point it was best to just cancel it all, get doctors notes, get it all refunded (or most of it) Im just gutted it all came down to this but obviously I need to think about my stepdad, not my flight. Its just been exhausting and my mother has been going to hospital pretty much every day and burning herself out which Iv spoke to her about but I kind of just leave her to it because it turns into a heated discussion.
Anyway last Fri was my birthday and I couple of old mates (they are brothers) came to my place and we chilled out etc, they got my gifts and we went out for burger and chips which was cool. Before they left one of them said that he spoke to his partner about my situation and his partner has basically given him the go-ahead if I went to go to Japan next year with him which is pretty cool of her considering they have a 5yr old son. Thats the thing you see, if you got kids you cant just go abroad and leave your partner etc and I would never ask someone to do that and put them on the spot. So whilst I dont mind the idea, he's just a bit different to me.
We got things in common but our fault-line is that Im the introvert and hes the extrovert. So I think I can only put up with him for a day max, after that Im kind of just worn out, like he could stay for 4 - 6hrs or sometimes longer if we go out but the moment he leaves Im more or less wiped out and collapsed on sofa lol Its his nature. Im quite slow-pace whereas hes quite full on. Sometimes he will push you do to things you dont want to do but you know if you straight say NO he could get offended.
Like I remember couple years ago he had my PS-Vita in his hands and he asked if I got it hacked yet - to which I said no but I plan to do it when Im ready, just NOT yet. But by then hes just like '....nah lets do it now' so hes got my vita, a cable, hooks it into the PC, takes control of it and hes already trying to get it to connect for file transfer but it isnt connecting, which confuses him, so hes on the net, downloading all sorts, going through my files to find them, hes a network engineer so hes good with PC's obviously but he can be a bit of a file-scanner, so its still not working so hes downloading MORE things onto my computer and Im just sat there staring at him thinking 'WHAT are you doing' lol of course he doesnt realise the Vita isnt connecting because the software is ON my system I just disabled the service via startup services on boot-up. My computer is just blocking it basically, he just assumes its not installed lol but of course if I told him that..... Then I like looked at his brother and whispered 'what do I do??' and he just smiled and looked down.
Like having a hacked vita is better (I got it done before I went abroad) but hes not doing so much for me, hes doing it to show-off. Then did it again last week and I said Iv been going to Argos nearly every day this month because I get staff discount there so people always put money into my account and I buy it with discount. And he said that I will be racking the points in with Nectar (its just points for every purchase you get) but I said yeah but only if I was on Nectar and he just froze up and said why dont you have it?? I just shrugged and said I dont really want it, but he cant accept that answer, so he starts pushing me to sign up for nectar, and I had to say I dont want to, so he starts telling me to sign up and join and it was just back and forth.
Dont get me wrong it would benefit me, but Im 37yrs old and if theres something I dont want, I dont want it. I dont want to sign up for something where Im getting something back but not for free, I dont want my details or data going to them, to get passed around to other dodgy firms, to then reach a certain value on the market and get bought out by China or the Saudis and thats my data gone to them, its shady. Its all about data mining and making money off you, its shady as hell.
But...thats kind of where I am. I mean I should just take advantage of the offer and go, its only 2 weeks and Im sure we will have a great time, its just like I say introvert and an extrovert can lead to slight friction. And I feel like we mainly get on because we're not with each other 24hrs. Or maybe Im just overthinking, like when I overthought about going to Japan with my stepdad and getting nervous, of course he ends up getting cancer anyway!
Right my fingers are hurting, but I just got a lot of pressure within. Its nothing compared to whats happening to my stepdad I mean he could potentially be losing his stomach this year.
Im not looking for solutions but maybe other people on here know that kind of person, your friends but theres that slight difference that matters. And you want things to be perfect going over there, your just scared of something going wrong
Me and my mam were talking and she asked if I fancied going abroad the following year and I said I dont need to go abroad every year but I wouldnt mind going to Japan the year after (this year) my mam said she knows Iv been wanting to go there for years and she proposed I go in 2026 because it will be my stepdads 60th and she was willing to pay for his flight and hotel and said just the both of us should go. So I was open to the idea and it makes it cheaper for him because I have enough money and he wont have to dish out as much apart from his spending money and insurance etc.
On the occasion we would look into it, like looking at flights and hotels etc, whens best time to go etc. But last year he had problems with his health and in all honesty hes not been the best when it comes to health, he suffers with a lot. Angina, DVT, once suffered 3rd degree burns, a stroke in winter 2020, broke his leg, prostate enlargement and lastly hes been born with a rare genetic blood condition so hes hemophiliac. So hes blood doesnt clot when it should and clot when it shouldnt. He lost a lot of blood during a surgery to the point where they had to abort because of the amount of blood he was losing and they couldnt control it.
So obviously going on a long-haul flight with someone with all those conditions were making me a bit nervous, I actually said to my mam that this isnt such a good idea. He still suffers with a cluster of clots like in his arm or something so....its just messy y'know.
Anyway last Xmas I was with my stepdad and he had to say to me that going on this flight was too risky for his health. I perfectly understood and I said its fine and that it isnt his fault. But he kept pushing doctors to see if he could get an all-clear to go. Then about late Jan he said a few doctors were going to have a meeting about whether if it was safe for him to go. They gave him the green light so long as he followed precautions like blood thinners, flight socks etc. I was quite hesitent but I agreed to it so we managed to book a flight and hotel. About a week after war broke out over there and it affected our flight and delayed it by 3hrs. So in total the flight was going to be about 23hrs and thats not counting waiting around etc. 6hrs 30mins to London, 10hrs at a hotel then flight to Dubai 7hrs, 6hr wait in dubai then a 9hr flight to Japan. So it was going to be LONG but we had no choice but to suck it up.
So between March - June there were little problems with his health but nothing major. July 14th he had to go to hospital again, 17th I then find out hes got bladder cancer, 19th I find out hes got another in the stomach (or as of last week ON the stomach). So add that with hemophilia its MASSIVE. And because there was just no alternative for me, I couldnt really find anyone to go with so close to flight day Oct 10th, to go away for 2 weeks, most of my friends are with a job and kids etc. I didnt want to go by myself, I just dont think I can do it and I dont want to push myself into a situation that could ruin my experience there.
Hes been in hospital since the 14th July and hes still in there to this day as you read this, so nearly 10 weeks already. My mother is going insane and my stepdad is just fed up. About 6 weeks ago he had his first surgery which was the extraction of the cancer in the bladder so hes been internal bleeding for weeks now. Surgery for the stomach is this Oct (apparently). At this point it was best to just cancel it all, get doctors notes, get it all refunded (or most of it) Im just gutted it all came down to this but obviously I need to think about my stepdad, not my flight. Its just been exhausting and my mother has been going to hospital pretty much every day and burning herself out which Iv spoke to her about but I kind of just leave her to it because it turns into a heated discussion.
Anyway last Fri was my birthday and I couple of old mates (they are brothers) came to my place and we chilled out etc, they got my gifts and we went out for burger and chips which was cool. Before they left one of them said that he spoke to his partner about my situation and his partner has basically given him the go-ahead if I went to go to Japan next year with him which is pretty cool of her considering they have a 5yr old son. Thats the thing you see, if you got kids you cant just go abroad and leave your partner etc and I would never ask someone to do that and put them on the spot. So whilst I dont mind the idea, he's just a bit different to me.
We got things in common but our fault-line is that Im the introvert and hes the extrovert. So I think I can only put up with him for a day max, after that Im kind of just worn out, like he could stay for 4 - 6hrs or sometimes longer if we go out but the moment he leaves Im more or less wiped out and collapsed on sofa lol Its his nature. Im quite slow-pace whereas hes quite full on. Sometimes he will push you do to things you dont want to do but you know if you straight say NO he could get offended.
Like I remember couple years ago he had my PS-Vita in his hands and he asked if I got it hacked yet - to which I said no but I plan to do it when Im ready, just NOT yet. But by then hes just like '....nah lets do it now' so hes got my vita, a cable, hooks it into the PC, takes control of it and hes already trying to get it to connect for file transfer but it isnt connecting, which confuses him, so hes on the net, downloading all sorts, going through my files to find them, hes a network engineer so hes good with PC's obviously but he can be a bit of a file-scanner, so its still not working so hes downloading MORE things onto my computer and Im just sat there staring at him thinking 'WHAT are you doing' lol of course he doesnt realise the Vita isnt connecting because the software is ON my system I just disabled the service via startup services on boot-up. My computer is just blocking it basically, he just assumes its not installed lol but of course if I told him that..... Then I like looked at his brother and whispered 'what do I do??' and he just smiled and looked down.
Like having a hacked vita is better (I got it done before I went abroad) but hes not doing so much for me, hes doing it to show-off. Then did it again last week and I said Iv been going to Argos nearly every day this month because I get staff discount there so people always put money into my account and I buy it with discount. And he said that I will be racking the points in with Nectar (its just points for every purchase you get) but I said yeah but only if I was on Nectar and he just froze up and said why dont you have it?? I just shrugged and said I dont really want it, but he cant accept that answer, so he starts pushing me to sign up for nectar, and I had to say I dont want to, so he starts telling me to sign up and join and it was just back and forth.
Dont get me wrong it would benefit me, but Im 37yrs old and if theres something I dont want, I dont want it. I dont want to sign up for something where Im getting something back but not for free, I dont want my details or data going to them, to get passed around to other dodgy firms, to then reach a certain value on the market and get bought out by China or the Saudis and thats my data gone to them, its shady. Its all about data mining and making money off you, its shady as hell.
But...thats kind of where I am. I mean I should just take advantage of the offer and go, its only 2 weeks and Im sure we will have a great time, its just like I say introvert and an extrovert can lead to slight friction. And I feel like we mainly get on because we're not with each other 24hrs. Or maybe Im just overthinking, like when I overthought about going to Japan with my stepdad and getting nervous, of course he ends up getting cancer anyway!
Right my fingers are hurting, but I just got a lot of pressure within. Its nothing compared to whats happening to my stepdad I mean he could potentially be losing his stomach this year.
Im not looking for solutions but maybe other people on here know that kind of person, your friends but theres that slight difference that matters. And you want things to be perfect going over there, your just scared of something going wrong
Posted on: 09/01/26 07:48AM
holy rambling mess that's a lot of words.
uh, from what little i could glean you're in the middle of deciding whether or not to go to japan? i'd say don't, not in that headspace anyways.
letting someone mess around with your computer like that is a major yikes. you should reinstall whatever distro you have from scratch, and change all your passwords/keys.
also nice to know forum posts don't have a practical character limit lol.
uh, from what little i could glean you're in the middle of deciding whether or not to go to japan? i'd say don't, not in that headspace anyways.
letting someone mess around with your computer like that is a major yikes. you should reinstall whatever distro you have from scratch, and change all your passwords/keys.
also nice to know forum posts don't have a practical character limit lol.
Posted on: 09/01/26 08:55AM
Yeah I was quite surprised it allowed that many lol Its just a messy situation really. I dont think my stepdad is going to be able to go abroad after this kind of surgery especially with the other conditions. Plus his health insurance will go up again now that hes had cancer in his system and it might even come back if its malignant. The tumour is called a GIST and its outside his stomach walls, not within, which is the better alternative obviously.
Im just having a ramble about my mate we've been mates for like 20yrs and his brother. But obviously when it comes to friendship you have to accept the good AND the bad. And he isnt BAD per say its just it can go against my privacy. Like if he wants to play games or watch youtube on my PC thats fine, its just the whole finding files in folders etc, its like someone tapping away through your phone and they might come across something you dont want others to see not so much because its violent but just the hassle.
Like I remember he was taking a dig at me cause he thought I like hentai but when he was zipping around on my computer he saw the download list on my browser and just happened to be all from a hentai site. Of course it wasnt hentai per say it was just art-books from a hentai site. E-Hentai does pretty good art-book scans from games or anime etc. So it was an awkward moment lol I guess Im just stressed really. I want to go. I think its just because I mentally visualised being with my stepdad, we all visualise doing things with certain friends because everyone is different. Like you wouldnt take someone to a theme park who suffers with vertigo or motion sickness lol
Im just having a ramble about my mate we've been mates for like 20yrs and his brother. But obviously when it comes to friendship you have to accept the good AND the bad. And he isnt BAD per say its just it can go against my privacy. Like if he wants to play games or watch youtube on my PC thats fine, its just the whole finding files in folders etc, its like someone tapping away through your phone and they might come across something you dont want others to see not so much because its violent but just the hassle.
Like I remember he was taking a dig at me cause he thought I like hentai but when he was zipping around on my computer he saw the download list on my browser and just happened to be all from a hentai site. Of course it wasnt hentai per say it was just art-books from a hentai site. E-Hentai does pretty good art-book scans from games or anime etc. So it was an awkward moment lol I guess Im just stressed really. I want to go. I think its just because I mentally visualised being with my stepdad, we all visualise doing things with certain friends because everyone is different. Like you wouldnt take someone to a theme park who suffers with vertigo or motion sickness lol
Posted on: 09/01/26 09:09AM
uniform-lover said:
outside his stomach walls, not within, which is the better alternative obviously
outside his stomach walls, not within, which is the better alternative obviously
maybe not as much as you'd think. less painful and lower risk of infection sure but theres a lot more risk of it spreading to other organs inside the abdominal cavity. you can replace a lot of the bodily functions with existing tech, i.e. the stomach/intestines with a nutrient drip or kidneys with dialysis. for more complicated organs like the liver or spine the only way forward is to die/be paralyzed or get a transplant.
Posted on: 09/01/26 10:52AM
Far as I know his surgery is this Oct (the month we was supposed to fly out) and its key-hole surgery so I dont think it will be a MASSIVE scar. Its just the blood problem. If he bleeds he BLEEDS
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