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Anonymous commented at 2013-09-30 16:11:43 » #1408375
Oh please... Absolutely everything is a better love story than Twillight! It's a shame these books/movies ruin the word 'Twillight' itself.
I was 'forced' to see the first two twilight movies with my girlfriend and while the first one was simply boring I think getting raped by a horse would have been more comfortable than watching the second one.
So if someone tries to make you watch all three: Rip your eyes out and rupture your ears. It's better that way.
90 Points
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Oh please... Absolutely everything is a better love story than Twillight! It's a shame these books/movies ruin the word 'Twillight' itself.
I was 'forced' to see the first two twilight movies with my girlfriend and while the first one was simply boring I think getting raped by a horse would have been more comfortable than watching the second one.
So if someone tries to make you watch all three: Rip your eyes out and rupture your ears. It's better that way.
90 Points
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Anonymous commented at 2013-09-30 16:58:58 » #1408396
Have yet to see any shit film that couldn't be improved by adding this. Imagine if some Great alien intelligence were observing us and judged us on shit movies like Twilight they'd probably wipe us out to put the universe out of it's misery, before going to watch some HORSE RAPE!
Post #1408375 my ex girlfriend was like 'waaa you watch shit films waaa nothing but guns and explosions waaa' then had the audacity to suggest we go to the cinema and that 'I'd probably be surprised and enjoy it', I walked out after about 20 minutes, bitch dumped me the next day because I never came back with the pop corn, now I get no sex and have to whack off to Horse Rape. Fucking Twilight ruined my sex life, maybe I should dress like a sparkly pale faggot, you know, like in the 80's, and hang around impressionable school girls and act all emo? hmm. HORSE RAPE! FUCK YEAH!
17 Points
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Have yet to see any shit film that couldn't be improved by adding this. Imagine if some Great alien intelligence were observing us and judged us on shit movies like Twilight they'd probably wipe us out to put the universe out of it's misery, before going to watch some HORSE RAPE!
Post #1408375 my ex girlfriend was like 'waaa you watch shit films waaa nothing but guns and explosions waaa' then had the audacity to suggest we go to the cinema and that 'I'd probably be surprised and enjoy it', I walked out after about 20 minutes, bitch dumped me the next day because I never came back with the pop corn, now I get no sex and have to whack off to Horse Rape. Fucking Twilight ruined my sex life, maybe I should dress like a sparkly pale faggot, you know, like in the 80's, and hang around impressionable school girls and act all emo? hmm. HORSE RAPE! FUCK YEAH!
17 Points
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Anonymous commented at 2013-10-06 11:38:07 » #1411831
The only times I can stomach the Twilight 'saga' is with the soothing sounds of Michael J Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett of MST3K fame ripping it a new one in their Rifftrax. I highly suggest that.
Horses have pretty bad sexual stamina anyway, averaging about 30 seconds before being done. Another advantage it has over Twilight; It's over quickly. Funny how people think horses are virile when they're anything but.
30 Points
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The only times I can stomach the Twilight 'saga' is with the soothing sounds of Michael J Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett of MST3K fame ripping it a new one in their Rifftrax. I highly suggest that.
Horses have pretty bad sexual stamina anyway, averaging about 30 seconds before being done. Another advantage it has over Twilight; It's over quickly. Funny how people think horses are virile when they're anything but.
30 Points
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Anonymous commented at 2013-10-14 17:42:39 » #1416547
I could tolerate Twilight a bit better if it was someone besides Kristen Stewart. I've seen her in Speak and I guess she worked a little better in that, but that's still being generous. She just isn't a good actor. I'm not going to say the worst (you'll know what I mean if you've heard of Tommy Wiseau) but she's still pretty bad. Not to mention, I think the writers could have adapted the book, which I never even bothered to read (just as a side note) a little bit better than that
As for this... I get more enjoyment out of it for the humiliation factor. I'm just that sadistic. Anyone else?
17 Points
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I could tolerate Twilight a bit better if it was someone besides Kristen Stewart. I've seen her in Speak and I guess she worked a little better in that, but that's still being generous. She just isn't a good actor. I'm not going to say the worst (you'll know what I mean if you've heard of Tommy Wiseau) but she's still pretty bad. Not to mention, I think the writers could have adapted the book, which I never even bothered to read (just as a side note) a little bit better than that
As for this... I get more enjoyment out of it for the humiliation factor. I'm just that sadistic. Anyone else?
17 Points
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Anonymous commented at 2013-10-25 12:17:09 » #1423271
That just means you need more horses. Watching a girl get plowed by a horse and filled with a pint of stallion cum is fun. Watching a girl get plowed by a dozen horses and stuffed with stallion cum until she's practically a human condom? Now THAT's a good Saturday evening.
54 Points
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That just means you need more horses. Watching a girl get plowed by a horse and filled with a pint of stallion cum is fun. Watching a girl get plowed by a dozen horses and stuffed with stallion cum until she's practically a human condom? Now THAT's a good Saturday evening.
54 Points
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