Anonymous commented at 2009-08-21 14:05:42 » #98320

^You will feel a slight sting, like when you break your thumb with a hammer. This is so my new desktop.

2 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2009-09-13 01:32:35 » #111068

Nurse: "You know, your insurance company only approved us to drill those bicuspids, and remove that molar... The scalp massage, brain tumor removal, and haircut is on me."
Patient: "Great, Let's get started."
Nurse: "Oh, by the way... the only person we have to perform all of this efficiently isn't exactly human. He's, well, more of an it, if you get my drift..."
Patient: "A robot? cool"
Nurse: "A robot? Heavens no! I'll have you know that Lenny-04 is our latest artificial surgeon!"
Patient:"Nice!"
Nurse:"And he just began his residency program! In holistic psychiatry"
Patient:"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

5 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2009-09-13 01:34:30 » #111071

Robot:"Don't mind the pizza, I'm sure I'm sterile"

1 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2009-11-01 16:40:01 » #143122

Robot: Just a little to the right. Work complete, removal successful.
Patent: I can't pay now, but give it about...
Robot: Decapitation and recycling of all human parts in 5,4,3,2......
Nurse: Stiff us on the bill will ya...

6 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2009-12-03 20:53:42 » #167747

thats some scary shit....

2 Points Flag

DarkAngel1024 commented at 2010-03-24 15:20:52 » #260219

You have nothing to worry about, this won't hurt one bit...

...it'll hurt MANY bits.

9 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2010-08-05 20:36:20 » #390792

"The pain is excruciating, there is no anesthesia capable of nullifying it, and the scars that you'll receive cannot be withdrawn even with the finest of plastic surgeries. However... you have your choice of any lolipops if you can tell me your name afterwards."

32 hours later...

"You survived? I mean... you survived. Congratulations. Your name please?"

"..."

"Oh. My mistake. You died, didn't you. *sigh* Next patient please?"

5 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2010-10-14 02:52:52 » #471856

"Ok miss, now I want you to open wide and say 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!' "

4 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2010-11-21 09:51:49 » #514832

If I do this wrong it'll hurt a little.

If I do this right it'll hurt a lot.

5 Points Flag

Anonymous commented at 2011-02-02 19:38:13 » #605674

Patient: "OH DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT HIDEOUS THING?!"

Nurse: "Ma'am, the painting on the ceiling is meant to comfort patients."

Patient: "ROSIE O'DONNELL IS NOT COMFORTING!!!"

9 Points Flag