Your browser does not support grid, so will not be supported. Hover over your browser version to see if there is a way to enable potential support. Sorry, I am no longer able to justify working on making the layout work on older devices.
I genuinely had a friend do something like this for my 21st birthday, she took me to a community centre where she'd rigged up the pole, tied me to the chair and danced for me. Best birthday present ever